Our wellness is not a single act on a single day. It isn't eat more or eat less. It isn't move faster or harder. It isn't study and grind. It isn't sit and meditate. It is made up of so many parts that overlap. Every time we make a decision that nurtures our spirit, mind and body, we are affirming our divine right to be healthy, whole and complete.
As a little girl, I watched as my mom showed selflessness. She often put herself last, saving money she might use on a new pair of sneakers or a nice top she needed- saving for Christmas, for us, to pay bills, to meet other people's needs. I watched her spend her time serving the community, our house, our gardens, my siblings and my father. I admired her SELF LESS nature. I admired her angelic generosity. My mom will always be my angel.
As I grew and became a teenager, I found myself giving so much of myself away that I wasn't always sure who I was anymore. I thought that to show love and to be my best, there should be a lot more give and a lot less receive. I saw meeting my own needs as a selfish and egotistical act. There was shame in my mind and a whole lot of guilt. More often than not, there was exhaustion and poor decision making as I was vulnerable to the whims of others around me and I wasn't always treated as someone who deserved respect, care and love- maybe because I wasn't expecting much less demanding it.
It wasn't until I was married, with a child and a full time job that I realized I wasn't teaching my son to love himself because I wasn't modeling how to do that. I was showering him with affection, praise, challenge, attention and experiences, but I wasn't SHOWING him a mother who was going to take time to love her self. It took the loss of a close friend to help me realize that there was no better time to start on the difficult but fulfilling path toward self-inquiry, self love and empowerment.
Often times, guilt rides shot gun when we take time for ourselves. We think, "If I am to be teaching my children or others love- I have to love -them." We don't realize that the only way we can truly teach our children, our loved ones and our community to nurture the self is to act with SELF love. We have to take the time, we have to say, "no". We have to set boundaries. We have to assert our own needs, desires, passions, and path. We have to read to empower our minds, we have to practice to nurture our spirit, and we have to take care of the nutrition and movement that strengthens our bodies.
All of this means that we might have to replace other tasks with time for ourSELVES. We might sacrifice a TV show or cleaning up after someone else. We might have to ask for help. Wow. That is a real mind-blower. I am not being sarcastic. It is often one of the hardest things we can do as humans. We have to surround ourselves with people who have similar goals, who will support our personal and professional development. We have to turn inward and we have to be open outward. Seeking the best in ourselves helps us discard jealousy, discard judgement, and release the need to be perfect because, frankly, the more we seek answers inward, the more we realize there is no such thing. Yet, our flaws make us perfectly human & perfectly divine.
What's more, the world needs our solution, our voice, our ideas, our creativity and our love. We can not contribute with authenticity if we do not work on developing the space, the time and the skills for wellness. Think of it as an act of giving to the world.
If you aren't currently part of an uplifting community who will surround you with support and optimism, consider joining Journey Through The Wilderness, my free, private FB group or Smiles at Sunrise, my free, private 21 day challenge group, available for a limited time through Zoom meetings.
Contact me or comment below for more information and to let me know if this resonates with you. Have a beautiful day.
Intuitive mother, writer, teacher, wellness coach, daughter, wife, friend and advocate for true belonging and self love.