Have you noticed how the media has sold our son's and daughters a version of fairytale expectations about behavior, appearance, happiness? The toy aisles are coded by color- assigned to presumed genders of our littles? Have you wondered how our children feel about this? Have you seen the impact it has had on your adult life? How you quiet down or shrink around certain people- assumed to be more worthy of the space or the floor? Have you used your appearance to gain power or have you shamed yourself because of it? Have you started to notice the ways in which you behave out of a sense of expectation rather than honesty?
It isn't easy to navigate the world as our truest selves. We've been trained from a young age- from the color or our clothing and treatment we were given as newborns, to the religious classes that taught us Adam was the creator and Eve was the reason for original sin- we've been shaped, groomed, filled in, filtered, shaved down, whittled, speckled, painted and squelched. Not just women, but men, too. They've been made to feel the protector, the stoic, the breadwinner.
Sure, it's not a new story. This narrative has been discussed and changes are being made, but it is still part of our experience.
As I've been searching my soul for some time now- trying to distill the most essential me- the one that is aligned with her purpose and voices her truth- I am also aware of the many layers of unlearning that have to occur to get closer and closer to the essence.... We have a shedding process to journey through.
Begin to examine the stories you hear yourself say as you encounter your world. Pause. Ask yourself is the story kind and does it honor your truth? Does it feel like it came from somewhere else? Can you recall the first time you felt it or thought it? Do you need that story to survive or can you acknowledge and forgive yourself for believing it? If you can begin to forgive the circumstances or person who first inflicted that painful story, you can begin to yourself for believing it. Then, you can shed that layer of weight holding you back.
It takes time, breathing and patience with ourselves to become more and more free of the guilt, shame and falsities that have glommed onto us. BUT, it is worth it. The more in practice of this shedding I become the lighter, freer and more transformed into my light I feel.
You are worthy of that freedom. Awareness first. Breathe. Forgive others and yourself. Let go. Fly.
#essentialwellness #mindfulmama #forgiveness #unlearning #evolvingspirit #butterflyheart #sheddingfasity #emergingtruths #authenticliving #bravingthewilderness #beyoubravely #loveyourself
We are messengers for love. We are spirits amongst spirits, not a body amongst bodies.
Today, to really rev up the vibes of love, try adding essential oils to your meditation. Diffuse or drop into your palm and breathe it in. Apply it in layers with the lotion or oil of your choice- to your abdomen, legs, arms and neck. Loving oils are rose, geranium, marjoram, forgive, pink pepper and align. Consider how you can release the ego and open up to love again.
Light a candle to burn off the ego's old messages and accept that our bodies are a vessel for love. Our healing moves beyond us- it ripples into the world.
Affirmation Day 20
"I accept the true function of my body. I accept that I am a messenger for love. "
Set your alarm to repeat this every hour on the hour, breathe into your body and notice how your emotions feel and notice if there are any shifts. Note this in your journal.
As you drift off to sleep, breathe in love and acceptance for this beautiful gift of your body- an expression of love.
#maycausemiracles #miraclemoments #manifestationmama #spiritualgrowth #evolvinghuman #spiritandenergy #naturalwellness #emergence #wecandothis #communityuplift #loveyourself #egoletgo #separationisalie #weareone
For a long time, I worked out daily. I coached (and loved it) and then... I got sick. Ok, really, I flared up. It stopped me in my tracks. Sometimes I couldn't sip water without excruciating pain, but from that pain came learning. I learned to be still, to listen closely to my heart and to my body. I learned that striving is another way to become controlled by perfection. Prior to my flare up of IC, I'd been pretty good about keeping the shame storms at bay, but working out every day in an intense way- I was definitely striving and pushing rather than flowing into my health. Whenever we strive for perfection, the shame storms are there- on the horizon lurking. Shame storms are an attack on our self love. The one person we have to count on most in our world- is our inner voice. It is the only one guaranteed to be with us in every moment.
Instead of expecting ourselves to look a certain way before we love ourselves, it's essential to see the progress, the gains and the beauty in every stage of our lives. Our bodies tell a tale. They show us when we've forgotten to care for them. They slow down or speed up based on how well tuned they are. They remind us that we need to tend to our thoughts and our emotions when we sit still for too long (which is exactly the reason we should sit still longer instead of running). They remind us of the obstacles we've survived and the miracles we've created. They are incredible, really. Looking in the mirror during this picture, I felt amazing. I know my abs are a little rounder than they once were, but they were once displaced to nurture a baby. The regular pain and pressure they've held from my IC and IBS is completely missing. It's important to see with fresh eyes the gifts we have in our bodies.
Have you been afraid create healthier movement goals because you know it will be difficult to maintain? Have you been afraid to try new programs because you will be ashamed if you can't keep up? Are you embarrassed of how you look in certain areas of your body? We don't paint the house before we hire a painter to do it again- out of embarrassment for the condition it is in at the present. Send your body loving messages and your body will respond to you if you listen to what it needs.
These past few weeks, I've learned to adjust my workouts away from crunches, push ups and heavy weight lifting- to heal an injury to my sternum. I pushed too hard. I've learned to increase my mobility and strength with a workout program that can be completely low impact or allow me to leap about- a ballerina in my mind. I've learned to meditate EVERY workout and to stretch more. I've leaned into walk-jog-runs, and hydrated. I've added my digestive enzymes to every meal and peppermint essential oils to my routine topically, aromatically and internally. My nutrition has been more nurturing. I'm making time and I'm making progress.
You. Can. Too.
Choose the best feeling thought you can for your health and plan in the time to move in a way that brings about that feeling daily. Enhance your routine with essential oils, meditation or another beloved self-care moment. Strive to recognize your progress, love your body and when that shaming perfectionistic voice judges. Tell it to be quiet already.
#wellrounded #balancedwellness #essentialwellness #busymomofboys #oilymama #naturalwellness #wecandoit #selflovemama #embraceyourlife #embraceyourbody #loveyourself #fitmoms #communityminded #spiritual #bravingthewilderness #journeythroughthewilderness
It is never my intention to hurt someone or to act in a way that is mean or cruel. I just wasn't built for it. I am a peace-maker by nature. This caused me to befriend mean spirited people in the past and left me vulnerable to their manipulation. As I've grown, I've learned that life is as much about giving positive energy as it is about finding those who feed it back. This can not be created with false concern, superficial adoration or fitting in behaviors. It is best when the positivity comes from a place of mutual trust and respect- where we can take someone at face value and know that they will listen as much as they will share their truth- a truth that doesn't change depending on the people who stand around them.
It is when we can share our honesty and know that it will be received as intended- with curiosity and the desire to understand. When our values are clear (and they don't become clear without articulating them) we can begin to walk side by side people in partnership, teamwork, friendship or collegiality. When we stand before someone with our honesty- raw and real- and we see how they listen or defend- this is that pivotal moment of awareness- when we learn where we stand with-or apart from another person. It doesn't make us enemies.
We all seek to be understood. Authenticity is one of the most amazing goals to strive for. However, when we share our truths or our opinions are different from the group, it can be seen as an attack or we can feel very vulnerable. Share it anyway. It is the only way to brave the wilderness of this life and to walk our walk with integrity. It takes the greatest courage to use our voice in a way that is true to our core- especially when others don't understand it. It is our birthright to be real- not just the real others want us to be.
If the people we share our truths with belittle, shame, guilt, judge or defend- we might need to give them time to come around, process, put the ego aside and learn. I've certainly been in those shoes before. It isn't easy to hear a hard truth. However, if this happens repeatedly or even one time with something truly dear to the heart- it might be time to walk away. Do we have something to learn from one another? Can we shape this relationship into something meaningful or is the person not worthy of the time, effort and respect we've afforded him or her?
There are many people who have vastly different beliefs and ideals than me- some of them become my most trusted inner circle. We value our differences and grow side by side- sometimes closer and sometimes further away from one another.
Some are the people who I will smile and wave at, engage in casual conversation and respect as a human being- but never, ever invite back in. These people are often the ones who will show you support but only when others aren't around- to protect themselves. Or, they outright ignore, avert their eyes, laugh and whisper when you speak. They might be kind to you and then speak ill of you behind your back. These people should be kept at arms length until we can learn more or- we simply move on and focus on the people who are in the world to be real and caring- to elevate and be elevated.
We are worthy of respect. This doesn't mean we earn it by being fake, complicit or never getting involved at all.
#authenticity #whatisreal #authentichuman #truthspeaker #bravingthewilderness #journeythroughlife #journeythroughthewilderness #loveyourself #energeticmama #beautifullife #morejoy #wecanriseup #communityuplift #thinkaboutit #whoareyou #belongingorfittingin
Some say we are what we eat. What if we've been fed wrong perceptions of our bodies and our selves? Does that make us full of false beliefs? We often carry around old hurts that we allow to taint our truth about who we are and what we are made of. Many of us have been body shamed, made to feel weak, given the impression we should use our bodies for power or to please others. Many of us have been harmed physically, sexually and emotionally through the path of our bodies... rejected in some way or disempowered. Sometimes, we have even found ways to physically harm ourselves to release the deeper pain within or we've learned that someone we love has done this to him or herself.
Our bodies can be our greatest teachers, and they can also be the most abused by the world and by our minds. It's time to let go of the need to harm our bodies through forgiveness. Gabby Bernstein, through A Course in Miracles, shows us that when we do not release the pain inflicted on our bodies through forgiveness, we repeat the harm inflicted throughout our lives. To me, it's like we relive the trauma as if scar tissue or an old wound that doesn't allow us to flex and breathe or function properly.
Repeat the affirmation: "Forgiveness restores my body back to love" multiple times today.
It may be scary to try to figure out how to forgive, but, this is where faith comes in. If we can allow ourselves to become aware of our wounds and offer them up to our "ING" (our inner guide) we can place trust that it will be healed.
Become aware of the wrong perceptions you've held of your body through insult, injury or attack by yourself or others. Release by allowing the inner guide to know our dark secrets and show them the light. These secrets have been our decision to trust Ego rather than spirit.
Write the ING a letter telling your secrets and trust that these secrets will be lifted or weakened, allowing your strength of love to multiply.
Our purpose is to love and be loved. Fusing our fear with our faith is a way to transform our old hurts into a more graceful, faithful practice.
Love yourself today.
A fun part of today's practice is also deeply fulfilling. It helps us create a whole new perception of our bodies and our... eating.
While Gabby's message in the Miracle Challenge is deeper than the food we eat- it is about rejecting the ego's false perceptions of our body and appreciating ourselves fully, the food part is often a symptom of our inner beliefs of about our outer package. We are focused on seeing our body as equally special to all other bodies- no more, no less. We need to remove the illusion of separation, specialness and attack.
Try out Mindful Eating. I've done some work around this and most definitely benefitted from it. I need it now, more than ever. How about you? One suggestion Gabby offers is to find your favorite part of the next meals you eat during the day. Select one bite and chew it several times- 30 or so. Think of your affirmation, "I am grateful for my body" and spend a full moment enjoying that bite. Explore every sensation connected to that food. Appreciate what that food offers your body.
Now, try the same affirmation during the gym, stretch deeper. Use the affirmation during intimate moments. Center into your body and enjoy the intimacy in a whole new way.
Our body is a rich learning vehicle and part of the learning is enjoying pleasures and feeling grateful for all of the things we can do, feel, etc. Start to notice what nourishes this vehicle we move around in.
Tonight, welcome your guidance from your inner guide. Notice and list in your journal all false or fear based perceptions of your body and replace those with a new list of loving thoughts.
As you turn off the lamp to fall asleep, Ask your inner guide to offer you love and acceptance. The following is part of the prayer Gabby shared in her book, May Cause Miracles.
"Inner guide, I welcome your support. Thank you for leading me to the right perception of my body. Thank you for reminding me of my life's greater purpose."
#miraclemindset #oilymama #evolvingmother #Womanintheworld #spiritualbeing #energetichealing #faithoverfear #bodyconfidence #selflovemama #wecanriseup #communityuplift #journeythroughthewilderness #emergencewellness
"Our bodies are love and we are one with the world. "
"The ego is attached to our body because it dwells there" says Gabby Bernstein, "but this separation is an illusion.
Looking in the mirror today, staring directly at yourself, choose to see with fresh eyes- see yourself free of the ego's lies and instead, bathed in pure light. We are spirit having a human experience and we are beautiful. Look at yourself with love and let go of the old story.
Gabby's morning reflection invites us to see ourselves with a golden ball of light pouring over our head and enveloping us.
Affirmation: "I am not a body, I am free."
Bedtime: There is a sweet little meditation to do tonight. As you breathe in, see a spark in your heart shining. As you breathe out watch it glow.
How can you cherish your body and spirit as a united, shining light in the world? Can you begin to see the light that you bring to others and this place when you embrace your wholeness?
#maycausemiracles #uplifted #journeythoughthewilderness #mindset #energeticmama #naturaluplift #faithoverfear #momsoverforty #truebeauty #bornthisway #weareallmiracles
Wellness isn't about looking good or fitting into your clothes, though you might glow more or manage your weight better if you are well. It's about your whole health- mind, body, spirit. Are you able to manage stress? Are you able to sleep at night? Are you able to create boundaries and say, "no" or "yes" when you want to? Do you know who you are? What your core values are? Do you live with intention and make decisions based on your intentions and your inner values? Are you able to speak up about things you care about- despite the possibility of judgment? Are you able to make peace and let go of old hurts?
Meditation is one method that helps us return to our breath and the present moment- to insert a pause in our actions or reactions and to choose again. It facilitates that kind of empowered and embodied living we want to have- the one in which we know who we are, what we want and design our actions with intention.
Don't Judge Your Monkey Mind
There is a myth that meditation is a completely blank mind and sometimes that causes people who are new to meditation to feel as if they are failing and to move into judgment right off the bat. It's like throwing a baby into the deep end and hoping they swim. If it works- that's amazing. If it doesn't- well, that baby may never want to bathe again, let alone swim.
Most of us know that meditation involves taking deep breaths and noticing the air as it enters the nasal passages or the lungs or causes the belly to expand and contract. You can do it sitting up, lying down, or lying with your knees bent and calves on a chair in front of you. So, if you are new to meditation and mindfulness- don't worry if your mind races or strays. Know that it is completely natural and helpful to actually recognize your busy mind and stray thoughts. The act of noticing IS mindfulness. When you notice, you can take a breath and redirect your thoughts again. If you catch yourself judging or feeling angry about the stray thoughts that enter your mind as you try to breathe, gently re-direct your thoughts to more loving ones. Some specialists will recommend labeling stray thoughts- "thinking, worrying, wondering" and to return to the breath.
Accept Guidance and There's Plenty of It
If you have trouble sitting in complete silence and breathing, there are many aps that can guide you to learn to focus on your breathing. They range from 2 minute meditations to hour long meditations.
There are a Wide Variety Of Types of Meditation
Breaking Beyond is an amazing Shamanic Meditation Podcast by Jill Pape Lemke. Imagine adult story time. She will lead you on a spiritual path to discover the inner healing you need. It's a bit magical and a bit of a journey into the universe. Gorgeous and descriptive.
Haye House Meditations- You can find meditations that will take you through past live regression, meditations that will bring you in contact with spiritual guides, guidance for increasing your creativity and self love.
There are free videos on YOUTUBE as well.
Want something more straight forward and instructive:
I love the UNSTRESS meditations and the 4 minute meditations at the end of Barre Blend from the Beachbody on Demand app. You can get workouts, wellness and nutrition through BOD as well as a supportive coach (me) and a supportive group to cheer you on. Click on the BOD to be redirected to my Beachbody site.
Create a Smell Association:
Try using Essential oils while you meditate. If you use the same oils over time- you will develop a smell association. While the oils will help you ground and focus as you breathe in early meditation practice, they will later be able to help you return to that sense of calm without the actual meditation- just by smelling that familiar scent. I love Frankincense for meditation, but there are many others that are phenomenal, too. Vetiver, Patchouli, Balance, Lavender, Rose, Sandalwood, Wild Orange and Peppermint are all oils I breathe in as I start meditation for different reasons.
Create a time and a space to meditate: Don't overthink it too much, but if you are a planner, a couple of soft cushions, candles, diffuser, blankets and low lights can help ease you into breath work. Create a sanctuary for yourself and set the expectations with kids and partners or roommates that this is your space and time. Use sound canceling headphones to create a space when you don't have physical real-estate for it.
Please, let me know how you're doing and don't hesitate to ask questions!
#oilsolutions #meditation #totalwellness #unstress #breathework #communityuplift #wecandothis #wellnessjourney #communityuplift #womenupliftingwomen #fitmomsoverforty #busymomofboys ##onebreathatatime #wellnessminded #oilysolutions
Today, it's all about allowing the inner guide, your inner voice, your spirit, your "ING" as Gabby calls it, to lead your perceptions of your body instead of the ego. Today, as I listened to my inner guide, I learned that I have more work to do to let go of fear and to allow my spirit to work through me. I learned that I might need to rest instead of push. I learned that even when I think I've rested, there is more rest needed.
We are so busy pushing and striving that sometimes we drown out the voice within us- the voice that knows what we really need. That voice is also the one who reminds us that we are here to love and be loved.
#spiritualmama #momofboys #wellnessminded #truelove #loveyourself #communityuprise #wecandothis #journeythroughthewilderness #energetichealing #naturalhealing #separationisanillusion #selfcare
Yesterday, I felt like crying off and on- a lot. It kept surfacing the way a sea bean must... as the tide buoys it along for years. There was a pain that felt familiar- like a silvery bit of flesh we realize is, "That scar from when we fell on roller skates while listening to Johnny Be Good on the boom box." That sea bean- that scar- they are floating for years on the surface- with little acknowledgement- until finally, a wave crests and we catch glimpse of it or we finally get around to shaving our legs (it's the winter- am I right, ladies?) and we recall the curvature of flesh that has healed.
Some wounds are like that- just floating along until we are willing to recognize them. The scar might not fade completely but we can release the old hurt. The sea bean will never return to the island it left- but we can examine it and appreciate it- instead of planting it and allowing it to grow. The body work we are doing right now- the illness I am trying to heal right now is all so poignant as I travel through this 40 Day May Cause Miracle Challenge.
Gabby shared toward the end of the daily work:
"Sickness is anger taken out on the body so it can suffer pain." This kind of self-inflicted pain is hard to wrap my mind around, though I believe it to be true. How can I heal it?
Gabby says, our ego has caused us to think we are separate from others- this leads to comparison and feeds our desire to overcome our fears by overeating, under-eating, abusing substances or sex. Gabby and A Course in Miracles ask us to observe the ways in which our ego has tricked us into thinking we aren't good enough, that we can use or abuse our bodies to gain power, or how we should numb ourselves by treating our bodies in a way that is not loving.
Moving away from body fear, we can choose love instead of attacking ourselves. When we notice ourselves comparing, feeling our body is more or less special than others, when we flaunt our body or numb it, we can recite the affirmation and begin to replace our negative behaviors and self attack with more positive soul-inspired thoughts.
In the evening, the reflection is an opportunity to observe our addictive behaviors, chaotic thoughts and abuse of the ego. Gabby suggests that this can help us to disempower the ego which drives our fear.
I love the ocean. I love sea beans. I don't even mind that little, silver, crescent piece of flesh on my knee. I still love, "Johnny Be Good."
There's room to love myself and change my thoughts. There's room to heal.
Are you willing to look at your own behaviors and change them? I will be working on eating to nourish, releasing some of the pressure to look a certain way- as I've always felt the power behind beautiful things... the lure of perfecting or improving appearances to be more "lovable".
We can change if we do it together... you on your journey- me on mine. We can do it if we have faith and take the time to be patient with ourselves, but real, too.
Love yourself today.
#nurturedmama #wellnessmindset #naturalhealing #faith #familyfirst #communityuplift #wecandoit #togetherwecan #busymomofboys #essentialwellness #emergencewellness #journeythroughthewilderness #loveyourself #selflove #bodylove #wearenotseparate #united #faithoverfear
Intuitive mother, writer, teacher, wellness coach, daughter, wife, friend and advocate for true belonging and self love.