Yesterday was a beach day. Ocean waves and time with my youngest, his friend, my cousin and my aunt helped distract me, lift my heart up a bit. When We returned from the coast- sandy and sleepy, I felt grateful for the love around me.
This morning, I woke up with that boulder on my chest- the one that formed when Dad was diagnosed but that rolled into place when the dust settled on his services and the reality set in- he isn't coming back.
In June, the news about the cancer that took Dad came at one of my favorite times in the year- baseball season. I'd recently bought the shirt you see above and had begun to dream about summer sunshine, cheering on my son's travel baseball team and embracing my more creative side with my wellness company.
Let me assure you that no matter your focus or your expertise- grief and trauma are never easy to navigate.
BUT, what I also know... the hard things are the things we can't avoid. When I don't want to move because the weight is too heavy, I HAVE to move. When I don't feel hungry, I NEED to eat. When I can't sleep, I NEED to rest.
Once upon a time, I didn't realize that more life meant more FIGHTING. Every moment, I'm fighting to get back to a place that feels bearable in my heart. Once upon a time, I was reaching for that higher vibe, now I'm reaching for an acceptable one.
In my mind, I know I'll get back to higher frequencies and joy sometime soon.
If you're struggling, try to move, eat, rest even when you don't want to. I know it's not always what you'll want to do, but it's what you'll need do.
The other best strategy I have is gratitude. Right now it's so hard to feel grateful, and yet- there are people who've brought me so much goodness. My friends and family who've texted, messaged or called- they may not be the ones I thought would be there, but they've been there. I am grateful for the card from a neighbor and the lamp I placed on my mantle to light up in memory of Dad. I'm grateful for the food delivery and the moment of peace my gratitude brings me again.
Let me know how you get through your grief, the more life you've been given. Let me know how you're doing and know I'm grateful to all who have walked with me- even when it's uphill.
#peaceful #grief #goodgrief #mourning #uphill #walkwithyou #communityuplift #journeythroughthewilderness #bravingthewild #gratitude #life #friendships #wellnessminded
Intuitive mother, writer, teacher, wellness coach, daughter, wife, friend and advocate for true belonging and self love.