So many of us have a story about money. I know I do.
I was raised by a waitress and salesman. My parents always provided the necessities and found ways to bring us to a camping trip, boating outing and a couple of trips to Florida. I cherish the memories of abundance with my family as they were created from hardwork and love. Of course, my mom was amazing at teaching math. We shopped in the clearance aisle by choice and she'd always have me mentally calculate the discounts, the tax, the total. She taught me to calculate a tip that displayed care for the waitstaff or service provider, knowing that so many struggle on the hourly wage they make- knowing what it felt like to try to provide for a family with that rate.
There were also struggles. My stories from childhood were about being lucky to grasp some money, score a good deal or enjoy simple pleasures. They were also about limitation- who gets to have the money and who doesn't- how easily it could go away. I often felt more concern for the happiness of others when I was a child and set off to work many, many hours as a babysitter, a waitress or a tutor to squirrel money for what I might want or need to lessen any burden on my parents or to gift others I loved. I had a fear of losing people, like I had a fear of losing resources. Prior to the past few years, talk of finances could make me physically sweat, my throat to clench, my head to feel dizzy. I've been trying hard to change my relationship with money.
It's time to take stock of our financial stories... our thoughts about money shame, lack, grief, scarcity. It's time to stop looking at money as evil or a way to gain self worth and flip it so we see our increased self worth translating into a sense of abundance and flow. That greater flow will allow us to do greater good in the world. I'm both excited and anxious about the upcoming segment of miracle work ahead.
What stories do you have? What are your thoughts around money?
#abundancethinking #money #selfworth #networth #wellnessminded #communityuplift #maycausemiracles #belief #faithoverfear #mindsetmatters #momtruths #authentichuman
There have been days in my life, where I literally walked through my world sending love to everyone I saw. It didn't matter their appearance, actions, or role in my life. I'd see the man collecting cans on the street and imagine golden light shooting straight from my heart to his. I imagined him happy, warm, safe and abundant. I'd make eye contact with the grocery store clerk, smile and ask them about their life. The grumpy neighbor... yep, even them. If I could hand them all a million dollars, those days, I would. That's when I'm living my best life. Laugh if you can't imagine it, but try it, too.
This morning's practice is all about doing just this. Despite the apparent racism, micro aggressions, the clear polarities... when we take a deep breath in and allow ourselves to love, it feels good. There are days when I want to feel the heartache of racism so I can voice that heart ache. Many people need us to do this. I need to do this. My best friends and family are affected by racism, after all.
And then there are some days we just need to feel better. We want to, "Be the change we wish to see" as Gandhi would say.
Without both the open disgust for hatred, the condemning of abuse and oppression and this willingness to send love, I worry, we will continuously turn in one place.
An openness on both sides of the street might affect change. As I walk through my neighborhood, I am sure there maybe people who are quietly judging me for a variety of reasons, of note- the fact that I am married to a woman. This is not the same as the experience a black man would possibly have walking through the same neighborhood, but it's as close as I can get in my shoes. I imagine that if I am willing to open up my heart and assume positive opportunities for me, I have to allow hope that the same can be returned to me. In this same way, I hope we can all open up to all people who are different from us- be it in appearance, ethnicity, political view, sexual orientation, gender identity or any other innate human "label".
Gabby Bernstein suggests that we sit quietly in a comfortable meditation space, that we allow our various relationships to surface and that we challenge ourselves to list the ones that are the most difficult. Then, we look at that list and imagine sending light and love, happiness to each person- thanking them for the role their relationship plays in our life. The challenge of loving someone who is different or causes us discomfort is truly a noble task.
Love yourself today.
#separationisalie #riseup #communityuplift #uniteagainsthatred #spiritevolving #evolvinghuman #authentichuman #wonderfulworld #peacefulhuman
We don't have to be face to face to forgive.
While the act of letting go of our attack and anger means our Ego is likely to throw a tantrum, we can release our need to judge, attack and defend to the work of our inner guide- our "ING" as Gabby refers to it. Our internal spirit is lighter, freer as we move through this process of letting go. Radical forgiveness allows us to accept others as they are, but also to accept ourself as we are. We become more empowered, more free. We let go of negative energy attached to existing in a feedback loop of irritation, anger, resentment.
This one week of the May Cause Miracles challenge has taken me about three-four weeks to actually process. It's not easy work. Although I view myself as someone who readily loves others, sees their strengths and is open to their perspectives- I have recently been hurt by others who haven't been as present for me as I thought that they might be. I'd opened up, I'd let myself become very vulnerable and I thought I was safe. So, the act of stepping away when I really needed them left me a little shell shocked. I'd been carrying around shards of glass in my chest cavity. It was hard to breathe.
The relationship focus of this week has been exactly what I needed. It's allowed me to see the people who hurt me with more loving eyes. I know the distance has not been about me- it is about something outside of my experience- it has been about theirs. Maya Angelou once said, "You did then what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better." I felt the hurt, the sting, the disappointment then. Now I am moving on, feeling lighter and setting up new boundaries- healthier ones.
We learn who and what is "for" us in challenges. Some of those same who's and what's might be "for us" in happiness, but not in darkness. Knowing this can set both parties free. We no longer have the surprise or disappointment because we let go of expectation and allow what is to take the place of what could be.
As I moved through my yesterday, I truly felt as though the work I'd been doing was paying off. It's like I woke up 10lbs lighter- even though my body was sick from my second vaccination, my mind was no longer leaden and my heart was ready to expand again.
F-Everyone is a new phrase I will call to mind when I feel that anger, attack or judgment creeping back in. FORGIVE everyone and feel lighter.
#forgiveness #relationships #learningthroughlife #evolvinghuman #authentichuman #believeinyourworthiness #radicalforgiveness #lightenup #maycausemiracles #beautifullife #separationisalie
It was another tough morning- but I got through it. The early angst about how to get back to that high vibe state caused me to lay there, in the darkness longer. It was long enough to realize a few good things in my life- amongst the many.
My youngest had fallen asleep in my arms. He's in that in between stage where he isn't quite ready to be a tween and he wants to watch horror flicks that scare me into nightmares. He's brave and still wants to be nurtured. Sometimes, when I reach back into the backseat of the car, he gently holds my hand while I drive.
There's a beautiful reason to wake up and face the day.
The coffee was strong and bitter, but it woke me just enough to remember I needed water. I'm on day two of a cleanse for my body and water is crucial for the supplements to help me detox.
The water with lemon oil was fresh enough to help me recall the trash that needed to be toted to the curb- and quickly- so that the stink from the week could be toted somewhere totally different- free from us.
It's not glamorous, but in my red plaid jammies from Christmas and my son's slide sandals, I trudged to the curb with the heavy plastic bins, filled with remnants of our consumerism. The breeze stirred my hair and the air felt lukewarm. Later, it would rain.
That was enough to remind me that I needed the therapy of a run.
On and on my day has gone- a ripple effect of one aware moment leading to another. It wasn't long before I ran my 20 minute Breakaway, run- that I realized I had more strength than I thought, and I found more awareness, more honesty.
Today, I vow to remain honest and aware, truthful and kind. Today, I realize that this existence- with it's flaws, challenges and triumphs- with it's stinking trash and polished counter tops is much more valuable than painting a picture of perfection that isn't mine to claim.
Today, I vow to perpetuate raw honesty as a form of beauty rather than the flashy smiles and artificial proverbs we see- bombarding us on the daily basis. I'd rather be known and help others feel safe to be known than to attract masses with my fairytale that only makes others look upon their lives with a sense of false insecurity. No one lives a fairy tale- and it's just that- a tale.
Today, I will appreciate that which I already have. Today I will appreciate my voice and my truth.
#honestyispowerful #lifeisperfectlyimperfect #copingwithchallenge #riseabovetheblues #truthfulhuman #authentichuman #spiritualjourney #separationisalie #weareone
There is a stirring inside my soul.
It wakes me with the sunshine. It plants my being into the earth, straightening my spine,
As I lift my heart and open my ribcage, the beat, beat, beat has begun a new rhythm.
It is freeing.
It is stretching my hair to the sky,
my soles to the ground,
my limbs to the east and west like the horizon.
In my once closed palms, there is a dust
blowing clean on the breeze
the remnants of heartache, I'd been carrying like two leaden weights
cracked open and dissolving at my feet
The realization that something solid was merely hollow
On my exhale, I release all anger, the resentment of realizing what I thought was real
I forgive and release.
I make space for new seeds, new growth, a hardier flower- one that will weather the winter of New England-
one that promises through wind and rain, snow and freeze that it will bloom in the spring time.
I step into a new day- one that hasn't been defined yet, one free of illusion.
I let go of that which held me down.
Love yourself today.
#forgiveness #authentichuman #emergencewellness #journeythroughthewilderness #bravehuman #spiritualawakening #eyeswideopen #openheart #truth #loveyourself #youareworthy #truebelonging #peacewiththepresent #lawofattraction #highervibrations
For the past two weeks, life has been very challenging. I've been stretched to the limit as a mother, a human, a friend. Simple tasks have been daunting. I have made mistakes that most aware human adults wouldn't make. Not life or death mistakes- but simple, stupid, frustrating ones.
I've been searching for the ways to navigate this heartache. My workouts have helped. Meditation has been more laborious, but helps when I get there. The sunshine has helped. Family has helped. Friends... well, truth be told, I only opened up to a few about what has been happening and one, only one, has reached out regularly to help. By help, I mean, simply checking in- showing love.
People are busy. Life is complicated. As I consider the rabbit hole of- am I not a good enough friend to others.... don't I deserve love and care? I remember three little girls I took under my wing for 2 and a half years for a friend as she struggled with cancer. I remember the family we delivered meals to and took time to invite their son so they could heal from injury. I recall the friend, who in a similar situation, we offered rides, food, childcare. I DO deserve good friends.
So, here I am... searching to understand why I feel so alone? I haven't forgotten my one person who has been like family and checked in every single day- since learning about what is going on. What of the others?
A Course in Miracles would say that every relationship is a mirror about how we feel about ourself. Maybe I've attracted this? Either way, the judgements I make now are also a reflection of myself. So, instead of judging and feeling isolated, I am vowing to make a different choice.
I am choosing to see love instead of anger. I can't promise that I'm not hurt and sad. Dear inner guide, please help me in this process.
I know that all friendships serve different purposes, and I am not crossing anyone off of my list. BUT, I am also learning through this. I'm sure there have been times my friends were in need and I didn't reach out enough- didn't show up for them. This is a lesson about who I want to be going forward for my friends. This is a lesson to have gratitude for the people who DO show up. A simple text- a lunch sent to the house, a hug emoji- small moments of care that let me know there is hope. This is a lesson to be patient but also, to recognize the place I hold for the people I thought loved me. For some, love maybe more conditional than I thought. For others, they may just be too busy to remember to show it. Either way, we are all human.
Tonight, I will spend more time in meditation. I will send light and love to all of my circles- knowing that I can't choose for others who they'll show up for me, but wanting in my heart, to be a truly loving friend no matter what. Tonight, I will focus my attention on gratitude for all I now learn.
Today, I see all of my relationships as learning opportunities.
#difficulttruths #authentichuman #spiritualgrowth #contrast #whoweare #evolvingspirit #friendships #whatisafriend #gratitude #painfulmoments #fairweather #highervibes #manifestingtruelove #unconditional
The sun woke me up this morning. The bedroom blinds were ajar and birdsong floated in through the opening in the window pane. It's Easter morning and I want to be more optimistic and hopeful this morning. Not... as in.. more hopeful than unusual... not as in.. super high vibes versus high. This is the kind of morning, I'd usually wake up eager to face the day- but the truth is- there have been challenges lately.
The challenges have been so great that I don't feel ready to share them. In large part, because they aren't just my story, but the story of others I love, too. This morning, while the birdsong played, my first thought was- I don't want to get up. I don't want to face this day. I don't know how to face any of the days.
It's a sharp contrast to the life I try to live. They say that once you've learned to live in high vibes, a slight dip in them can feel unbearable. I believe this is true.
Now, Easter grass is strewn on the floor and I need to reach for something to restore my alignment. The past week, I've been so stretched thin, the anger, the frustration, the judgment... it's all rushed back and I've felt everything dark I don't want to- most dark- the fear.
So, May Cause Miracles, is a short meditative practice to support a heart that needs to realign. I need to shed the negative... breathe in love again. Today, I release my unkind thoughts and feelings to return to the truth- that love is stronger than fear.
Gabby suggests making a list of kind things we've done for others and forgiving ourselves for the negative. As we soften our judgement toward ourselves, we begin to dissolve our judgement of others. An inner awareness and opening is key.
So, if you wish you'd bounded out of bed to welcome the springtime, the Easter bunny, the sunrise- but instead, you felt sad, alone or angry...take a moment to look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and remember that we were born from kindness and we are kind beings. The shift in remembering our kindness through the grace we give ourselves and offer the world might set the stage for a fresh new wave of gratitude, and lead us to a more inspired morning tomorrow. I listened, I reflected and my spirit feels a bit lighter.
Today is a fresh day to come back home to a happier heart.
As Trevor Hall, one of my favorite spiritual artists sings, "Don't you carry stones in your bowl of light."
Today, I release some of those stones to lighten my load and shine a little bit again.
#maycausemiracles #authentichuman #darknesstolight #insearchofgrace #openingup #wecanriseuptogether #faithoverfear #loveyourself #evolvinghuman #putdownthewalls #wakingup #practicemakespeace #amthatIam #kindnesscreatedmekind #livinginalignment #returningtoalignment
Intuitive mother, writer, teacher, wellness coach, daughter, wife, friend and advocate for true belonging and self love.